Donkey Thoughts with Nick Offerman
Donkey Thoughts with Nick Offerman
A Very Special Episode
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Eric Brown from Dayton, Ohio asks, “What are you building that is outside your comfort zone?”

Eric, thanks for your question, and I see that you have asked others on a few different occasions about woodworking-centric topics. I hope that I continue to get such questions, because I love to think and write about my shop and our projects, and the overall discipline of making things in my life.

The answer to your question, though, is strangely not based in the shop, nor was it ever part of a tree. The thing “outside my comfort zone” that I’m building is an understanding with myself, specifically regarding the lack of woodworking in my life right now. What ho, ‘twould appear we have an earnest episode of Donkey Thoughts on our hands today. 

My woodworking shop has been such a big part of my identity, especially once I became somewhat visible to the public to whatever degree I have, and extra especially after my shop and two canoes were literally cast as Ron Swanson’s personal shop and canoes. But a truth I’ve had to face over the last several years is that my passion has been drawn to other creative outlets.  For example, I have been writing humorous monologues and songs and touring them all over the place to make people laugh in live theatres. I’ve been writing books and hosting a crafting competition show and most of all, I’ve been getting swell acting jobs, which is what I always dreamed of doing.

So, the understanding I’m coming to is that it’s ok that I haven’t built a table in years. Because of the pressure that I feel from some of my fan base, because they just really like that I’m a woodworker, I am having to give myself permission to practice less woodworking at the moment. The shop is healthy and strong, and our crew is kicking ass on every front, so what I consider to be my figurative garden is healthy and prosperous, I’m just not there every day watering the tomatoes myself. 

The last object I made that fits the intention of your question a little better would be a Windsor chair that I made in a class taught by Peter Galbert. It’s the only time I’ve ever been lucky enough to take actual instruction from a teacher, and oh, boy, did I pick a doozy. Peter is considered one of the premiere virtuosos of the Windsor chair/green woodworking form, to the extent that he has even invented a couple new tools to improve a centuries-old set of techniques. His book A Chairmaker’s Notebook is gorgeous and brimming with elegant drawings from his hand as well. Don’t despise him, I know this is a lot of things to be good at, and that’s really annoying, but he’s also super nice, which is even more infuriating, I know. 

But I was simply in heaven in his class, learning to ride the shaving horse and wield the froe and drawknife with aplomb, as well as leaning upon my old friend the spokeshave for shaping the chair spindles. Unfortunately, I was performing in a play every night, which caused me to miss a key final class. I came so close to finishing. So close! This was a few years ago now, and I’m here to tell you that I have yet to finish the final fit, shaving and installation of the spindles. I can’t wait to finish it, and yet every time I think I’ll get to do so, some goddamn champagne problem rears its head, and before you can say Minihan handmade travisher, I’m off to places unknown to dance in some pageant or other. 

A picture not of disappointment, but of potential future delight.

By god it looks like a seat. Just wait until that glorious day when I can lovingly slather it in milk paint and then curse in frustration at that notoriously difficult paint!

All this said, your fresh-faced, not-dusty-today correspondent still very much wants to talk woodworking, and do many more challenging projects, because it remains my ardent passion.

Adam Kirby, an educator at Little Rock Central High, asks “Wondering what meat and bread you prefer to use on your sandwich but more importantly what accoutrements you put on your sandwich?”

Adam, it’s about time somebody got down to the important stuff. On behalf of the entire Donkey Thoughts Community, I thank you.

If we have meat and bread on hand, of damn near any stripe, then you’ll be hard pressed to find me in anything but a pleasant mood. Historically I have preferred damn near any meat, but if I had to pick, I’d land in the corned beef/pastrami section. I’m ok with kraut but I’m even more ok with some melted swiss and some stone-ground mustard or a splort of Gulden’s Spicy Brown. On rye, why not.

But now you got me thinking about a Cubano sandwich, ham, roast pork, maybe a little salami (Tampa style), layered with melted swiss, thin sliced dill pickles, and plenty of mustard on a sliced Cuban roll (made with lard) and toasted in a press, or, less ideally, pressed in a toaster. So yummy.

I could sincerely go on for several more favorite sandies, but I’ll save the rest for my next book: Meat and Other Requirements by Nick Offerman.

(p.s. What are we going to call the Donkey Thoughts subscriber community? Donkey Heads? Mule Drivers? The Outer Burros? The Jack McBrayers?)

Michael Robert, apparently of Minnesota, asks, “Ok…are we talking fish you can catch and eat? And if so, now we have to discuss how you prepare it. Catch and release? Ice fish? So many questions. The biggest question of all is of course, what beverage pairs best with the experience?”

Thank you kindly for this multi-pronged question, Michael, and the opportunity to think and write about my dreamy family vacation time as part of my vocation. I’m basically fishing on the clock, affirming at least for the moment that I have made some decent life choices.

The contingent of Offermans and Robertses that descends upon northwestern Minnesota every summer usually numbers around 20. We’ve been doing it, by and large, since I was 6 years old, and good luck getting me to miss a year. The older I get and the more of the world I am lucky enough to see, the more I recognize that there is no destination more golden than wherever it is my family is gathering with fishing tackle, beer, a euchre deck, and delicious foodstuffs.

We fish on small lakes, chasing panfish like bluegill, crappie and perch, as well as the larger and more dangerous game of walleye, northern pike and muskie. Fish with teeth. Smallmouth and largemouth bass round out the menu, and we get a lot of enjoyment out of selecting our techniques, our locations, and our bait. 

It’s been our tradition for nigh on 50 years now to catch our household limits and fillet them for the freezer. We also have two big fish fries while we’re there at the cabins, and we all take turns with the side dishes and the other nights of cooking. On one of the nights I prepare my signature dish, Corn…My Way, the recipe for which can be found in my third book, Good Clean Fun. 

So we catch a bunch to eat, but we also throw back any fish that are too small and especially those that are large and exciting specimens. 

I have never ice fished, but would love to try it someday. I have read a bit about how luxurious the experience has gotten in modern times, but I think I would lean towards a more old-fashioned level of comfort, because withstanding cold and boredom brings us to your so-called “biggest question of all”. 

I would imagine that ice fishing is one of the most platonically ideal settings in which to consume a fine single malt Scotch whisky, my favorite beverage, that conveniently comes in several flavors, like Lagavulin 16, Lagavulin 12, Lagavulin Offerman Edition 11 Year, and Lagavulin 8 Year. You name it, they make a veritable rainbow of varieties.

That said, regular in-a-boat fishing is a most decidedly a beer sport.

If you want to ask a question, please leave it in the comments for now, and let me know where you’re from, if you like. Pretty soon the ability to ask questions and hear the audio will be for paid subscribers only, but until then, everyone please pepper me liberally with questions.

Yours sincerely,

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Donkey Thoughts with Nick Offerman
Donkey Thoughts with Nick Offerman
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