Hello there. Pull up a bucket. Don’t fret, that bucket’s for sitting on—I’m not going to put you to work just yet. I’d love to offer you one of those cushioned bucket seat/lids, but I’m afraid those are considered rather gauche in my circle. My name is Nick Offerman, and you have arrived at my figurative barnyard, where I stubbornly labor, donkey-like, at the tasks life has set before me. I do my best to pull whatever plow the day’s field might require, which could mean crafting a canoe paddle, smoking a pork shoulder, or attempting to write some content that might be helpful in some way. Within these rewarding chores, I also tend to ponder many of life’s mysteries, from the complex (is there a god?) to the banal (linseed oil or tung? aioli or straight mayo? stone ground or golden brown mustard? shit, Dijon?) even as I am working away on the regenerative farm in my brain. Hence: Donkey Thoughts.