16 Comments

The wall method can also be used to open a whiskey bottle that is about 3/4 full with good contact with the stud.

On a related note, I am in the process of creating a whiskey table with a bottle of Offerman Edition inside deep pour epoxy. I'm quite proud of it.

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Your various wine extraction methodologies were creative and entertaining yet somewhat bootless for us "corkless" souses who prefer grain related fuels for the soul. I did however thoroughly enjoy your gem about the mining of Quercus suber (Cork Oak). I had no idea, thinking all this time that cork was just a man-made material. Absolutely fascinating! That calls for a toast. If only I had a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon and an Air Jordan.

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the bottle shoe enactment was superb, thank you! I always use the wooden spoon but will switch to the shoe method for added excitement.

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I would think a #10 or larger wood screw (square drive, of course) would make an excellent cork screw. I’ve never done it but I have witnessed a champagne bottle being opened with a sword. Long sharp objects and alcohol, what could go wrong.

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Cork Bits with Wine sounds like a recipe. Perhaps one of us should make it happen...

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Your post offers a plethora of technique, a refinery - a downright powerhouse of explanatory prowess - and a delightful jaunt through unexplored territory. I now LOVE cork trees in a way that I never knew I could love a tree. And to all future wine-possible moments, I plan to wear loafers instead of stilettos, cuz...if no one can open a bottle with high heels then what-in-hell are they good for? I, forevermore, am cork-positive and remain on the side of wine bottles, now that they do not pose the tiniest fraction of obstacle. You have done us all a great service, and you - if you did not already know - have a genius for crafting/delivering 'how to' (expository) essays. In other words, 'you are an explainer-par-excellence' without the often-accompanying man-splain aura.

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How about the old, simple “thief”?

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This is wonderful! Thank you Nick! I’m a big fan. Currently listening to “The Unsettling of America” narrated by you :). I do have a question, if I may be so bold. I want to write and create a podcast but the fear of “who the hell cares what I have to say” is suffocating. Do you have some epic words of wisdom for how to move past this wall of fear to create, what I deeply feel, is my soul’s calling? Sending lots of love (and a hearty cheers).

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Swiss army "waiter" is what I carry and has been indispensable, especially for for the absent minded or spontaneous outing. Included in this edc is knife, corkscrew, can opener, toothpick and tweezers.

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Taking “spill the wine, get that pearl” to the extreme! I’d secretly love to see a video of the shoe method. 🤭

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Offerman Edition! Tried to savour my bottle, but alas, it was too difficult to deny myself the pleasure each night.

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I love funny phrases like : “It’s colder than as a witch’s tit in a brass bra laying face down in the snow!”

1) What is the name for this kind of slang called?

2) Do you know of many funny phrases that you might share? 🤐

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1) An aphorism perhaps? Colloquialism?

2) I couldn't find my ass with both hands.

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Why does everything seem to be happening so fast?

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Our age. Would that we could go back to Silver Lake and learn about smoking meat when we had all that time to smoke Winstons.

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Good stuff. ‘Nuff said

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